I’d like to think that I’m a catch. I’m Nigerian, but my friends like to call me a coconut because I was pretty much raised with enough exposure to make anyone believe I’d probably lived abroad all my life. I’m usually one of the most confident people in the room, so talking to people comes easily to me. I thought applying it to my personal life would be a win, but apparently not.
Today’s write up happens to be a very interesting edition to the story of my life and to my surprise, the one thing that seems to have kept up so accurately is my Facebook.
My love life is one that I have always kept to myself and I’m not much of a social media person, but those who know me know that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to think that if it was important for you to know, I would have already told you myself. With that in mind, I have been brave enough to carry this news of how I feel to the people that I actually like.
The craze of wanting girls to make the first move is more rampant nowadays, A study was conducted to show that 65 per cent of more than 5,000 men had been asked out by a woman. Interestingly, 92 per cent of the men were comfortable with this I probably met the remain 8 per cent. Personally, I think that y’all are late to the party because I’ve been asking boys if they liked me since primary school. I guess we never grow out of some things. Jokes aside, in the past year plus (wow I didn’t realise it had been so long) I have courageously shot my shot to the total of about 10 guys, and looking back I discovered a pattern- as I always do thanks to overthinking.
For the purpose of this story, I shall be categorising and addressing these 10 guys by code numbers:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
In retrospect, I have found that various type of gentlemen can be identified among the 10 enlisted individuals and I shall do my best to divide them into categories and subcategories based on my experience.
For my elderly or older audience reading this, I’ll like to clarify the context of ‘shooting a shot’ in this write up as strictly on issues of dating or courtship if you will.
The Down for Whatever.
Although I’m not a hundred per cent certain, you might be lucky enough to find a 1 who doesn’t mind being one of your many husbands. He’s down for open relationships and entanglements. We have much love for you all the 1s around the world.
The Disciplined.
Dealing with a 2 will teach you great discipline. 2 is so disciplined in his thinking and carriage and this transcends the matter of relationships, it’s how he handles his finances and his routine and basically everything he focuses to do. He usually has a hot body and has the potential to be greatly emotionally intelligent, regardless of what you consider to be better judgement and resistance of the friend zone, he makes for a solid much-needed friend, however, do not be deceived he still remains a man of the streets.
The Reasonable.
Asides being disciplined there’s just being plain reasonable. Whether it’s recognising that he’s currently just not in the right space for a serious relationship like 3 and 4 or understanding that the forces of natural elements such as long-distance will make things impossible like 5, the key thing is that they let you know immediately and they end up being awesome friends as well.
The Confusionists.
In their defence, I would like to say that it may not be their fault but as the name portrays there are guys like 6 and 7 who gaslight you and tell you that the feeling is mutual, lead by emotions, they take you out on dates or sometimes you even take them out on dates only to have them completely ghost you afterwards. Or like 8 whose natural charm can seem leading, who also takes you on what you perceive as dates in oddly romantic settings that even have your friends excited and wondering but then he’ll say otherwise verbally.
…Of course you didn’t expect to escape such adventures without hurt feelings, sometimes people know better but can’t help how they feel. I mean if I could I wouldn’t have ended up as hurt and you definitely can’t hold it against people for what you thought they felt.
The Chilled.
And then there’s 9. You can tell that 9 is a mature mind who has had his fair share of relationships and the drama they bring and has learnt to take things easy. He’s the type to confirm that the feeling is mutual and puts in just enough effort to show that he likes you enough to see where things go but at the end, you might end up being ‘too serious’ for him because you don’t know how to ‘go with the flow’.
The Pressured.
The matter of emotions as you may have come to learn is a tricky one. And I may be wrong in my conclusion as 10 so frequently denies the feeling of pressure but sometimes… there might be the one guy that just feels forced, like they have to feel the same because of how ‘intense’ you are.
… Each of these men would be the eye candy of any lady and I can assure you that they are what you would call ‘prospects with potential’. They have jobs and aren’t broke, they come from good homes… many of them I met through a friend of a friend, some I met at work or university, you know all the regular ways you might meet people.
I’m the type of person that likes to piece things together, always searching for a bigger picture, and what I’ve learnt from my accidental unconscious experiment is a truth that has led me to believe that: Modern-day Society might be the to blame here. It feels like guys are burdened with responsibilities as well as an ample amount of choice thanks to tinder, hinge and a plethora of other dating apps. This makes it harder for guys to commit to serious relationships; whether it’s because they feel they aren’t financially ready or they know they aren’t mentally and emotionally ready regardless, I shall still keep the faith.
#stillwebloom
Don’t forget to share this story with someone who needs to hear it! If you have a story to tell or a Bloomer you think we should feature on our platform – We’d love to hear from you! Click here #letsbloomtogether
