It’s 9pm on a Saturday night and I’m indoors with zero motive. I know that there’s work to be done but if I’m keeping it 100% real, I just don’t feel like doing it. It’s not as though I’m tired; I haven’t worked hard enough for that. It’s not as though I couldn’t do with the money; my bank account is crying for a refill. The truth is I just can’t be bothered to build today and no matter how many motivational quotes I double tap on Instagram, that burning desire to get to work just isn’t there. I’m burned out at a point where there was hardly a flame to begin with. And, I have no idea why. However, as a typical millennial, I still have to look like I’m doing something major. So, I open my laptop to boomerang my latest project for an Insta-story. (A lil’ self-promotion never hurt nobody.) I then proceed to boil the kettle and make a cup of coffee that I don’t really need. Carefully placing it on the table, I take an accurately angled picture featuring my ‘overworked’ laptop. Filter- Melbourne. Caption – “Exhausted, but we don’t stop.”
Yet, I had stopped. I wasn’t doing shit!
Have you ever stopped to wonder why you do the things you do? This was a summer of deep self-reflection and I noticed that I was frustrated with myself. I was frustrated by my evident capability, yet I put more effort into flamboyantly describing the idea of something than I did into its execution. I was frustrated that procrastination led to my lack of consistency in almost anything I set out to do. And last but not least, I was frustrated by my frustration.
As glamourous as the end result of starting something looks, the truth is that it’s hard AF. What they don’t tell you is that the hardest part is convincing yourself that you can actually do it. This requires a high level of mental tenacity that I didn’t quite train for.
Procrastination is the murderer of all hopes and dreams and my lacerations were deep. It has the tendency of caressing me with sweet nothings that yield no fruit and don’t move me any closer to completing the tasks I set out to do; “Go and wash your hair”, “have another glass of your favourite pinot noir”, “go and shave your moustache,” and there you have it… A whole week has gone by, and then a month, and then you haven’t completed that goal you wrote down in 2012. In fact, the goal has changed altogether because that idea no longer exists. It’s dead and you’re too ‘busy’ to revive it.
Like most of my major problems in life, I had to take approximately 5 minutes and 35 seconds to look inwardly. And then, ask Google to find out what the hell was wrong with me? Psychologist Timothy Pychyl from Carleton University – Ottawa, took it upon himself to study procrastination (cute), concluding that it is in fact a coping mechanism gone awry in which people “give in to feel good.” This mechanism is usually born from the fear and anxiety that an individual feels when they know they have an important task awaiting them. To rid themselves of this fear, they will procrastinate. For an extreme procrastinator, the negative feelings can be used as another excuse to put the task off; a vicious cycle of self-defeat.
I used to think that the problem I faced was laziness, and I just needed to get more active, wake up earlier, sleep later, crush my goals like an effin shark. But Tim was right. My procrastination is actually a disguise for my fear. Believe it or not, I am scared to get started on the things I need to do in order to forge ahead. And, procrastination is my enabler. My comfort zone. My half a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream that makes me feel better for a few minutes but leaves a weight that is hard to shift when reality sets in.
So, what do I do?
Firstly, I can’t lie, it took a few days for me to even pluck up the courage to write about it and even in doing so I’ve procrastinated in finding a solution because of my fear of committing to it. I don’t have a step-by-step guide, but this summer has taught me some lessons that I believe has helped direct me onto a better path:
- Decide on your plan – My sister will cringe reading this, because she actually taught me this lesson when my carefree attitude clashed with her date and diary obsession, leading to a major bust up with wigs on the floor (lol I joke- but that’s a story for another day). I am the most indecisive person. I procrastinate on committing to plans because I dread commitment. But, in order to slay procrastination, it’s good to have an idea of what you’re trying to achieve and most importantly why. A friend recommended Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, a great read that really hit home. Hill writes; “The successful leader must plan his work and work his plan. A leader who moves by guesswork, without practical, definite plans is comparable to a ship without a rudder. Sooner or later he will land on the rocks.”A definiteness of plans is imperative to success and certainly helps to beat the hell out of procrastination.
- Surround yourself with superstars- as the saying goes, “you are the company you keep”… If your everyday interactions aren’t giving you FTSE 100 vibes, it’s time to switch your circle. Deliberately placing myself in positive circles of influence has boosted my drive like never before. Thanks to technology, I don’t have to go far to build and sustain these relationships. This summer I’ve found myself randomly attending networking events, where I don’t know anybody. It may be scary at first, but it can really help to boost your morale. Schedule these “superstar” meet ups, make time for them as you never know the doors that can open for you in the process.
- Choose distractions that add value- I’m not going to sit here and advise something unrealistic, because there will be distractions, they don’t go away. However, the magic sauce lies in choosing better Before, my distractions came attractively wrapped in the form of an irrelevant TV show, but now I’m proud to say that I’m officially addicted to podcasts and learning. My favourites being “NPR – How I built this,” “Lewis Howes- School of Greatness” and “Side Hustle Pro”. Indeed, this might just be a phase, but I intend on milking it for as long as possible because the value added has been extraordinary.
- Do what you can with the resources you have available. I used to make up all types of excuses, listing what I lacked in order to complete tasks or even get the ball rolling. The truth is that I wasn’t digging deep enough. A resource/opportunity is often found where you least expect it and sometimes it means having to get out your comfort zone to ask for assistance when you fall short. I have realised that I don’t have the power to do everything myself and part of the reason why I procrastinated was because I tried to do too much. None of the greats waited for an opportunity or helpmate to arise. They went out to find it. This should be your approach with every task you undertake, because the world awaits your magic.
Still, we bloom.
